


What The Hell!

by Fabwords



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drunk Derek, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabwords/pseuds/Fabwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t so much dancing as it was flailing.  A moving of arms and legs akin to those tubular wind men you see flapping above car sale lots.  No couldn’t be Derek, must be his long lost identical cousin, or some sort of shape shifting Derek impersonator Stiles thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What The Hell!

Stiles was late getting to the party, his beloved Jeep had decided to be a total bitch and just not start, he tinkered and got it going but in the process got covered in grease, re-shower, re-decide which jeans and tee to were and then finally he made his way to Scott’s ‘end of school’ bash.

The party was in full swing when he arrived, Stiles wasn’t expecting a crowd, usually these gatherings were for pack only, but tonight the house was full of class mates, regular non-were teens. Amazing.

With a happy grin Stiles grabbed a beer and worked his way through the small crowd towards the centre of the lounge room where the most amazing, unbelievable thing Stiles had ever, or will ever see again. Derek Fucking Hail. Dancing.

It wasn’t so much dancing as it was flailing. A moving of arms and legs akin to those tubular wind men you see flapping above car sale lots. No couldn’t be Derek, must be his long lost identical cousin, or some sort of shape shifting Derek impersonator Stiles thought.

“Have you ever seen anything more fucked up in your life?” Scott asked coming up behind him.

“What the hell happened to him?” Stile asked, his voice straining above the music and the chorus of “woo hoos” from the crowd of girls surrounding the dancing Alpha.

“Don’t know, drunk maybe?” Scott guessed.

“But you guys can’t get drunk.” Stiles argued, despite the evidence before him. 

“Some genius mixed wolfsbane into a drink and Derek apparently drank it.” Lydia added, looking decidedly appalled at the idea.

Suddenly the crowd parted as Derek made a slightly wavering bee line towards the small group. “Stiles!” He shouted. “You made it.” Stiles stood there blinking, Derek was throwing a arm across his shoulder and grinning like a complete loon at him. “It’s so good to see you.” He added pulling Stiles into a drunken bear hug.

“Umm, good to see you too big guy.” Stiles patted the Alpha’s back awkwardly. “Maybe I should take him outside for some air.” The teen suggested.

“You’re silly, there’s air in here.” Derek waved a arm around to demonstrate. Unfortunately, the hand was also holding a plastic cup of soda, the contents showering all those standing nearby. “Ooooo I fucking love this song, come on Stiles, dance with me.” He could have protested but really he was just too stunned to do anything but follow Derek as he practically skipped towards the centre of the room to the beat of Lady Gaga’s Show Me Your Teeth. Stiles was expecting some more flailing but no, Derek had other plans and with a grace that belied his current state, managed to get Stiles arms around his neck while his own arms circled the teens slim waist, rocking and swaying them both in a dirty dance that quite frankly left Stiles both completely brain dead and fully turned on.

Suddenly Derek leant back, lifting Stiles feet off the ground and began to spin on the spot, causing stiles lanky arms and legs to fly out and knock quite a few people over. “Oh my god Derek, put me down before you kill someone. “ Stiles was worried, he had never seen Derek like this. Not that a happy carefree Derek wasn’t a wonderful, breath taking sight, but it was so un-Derek-like that it made Stiles very uneasy. 

“Sorry Stiles.” Derek said in a sing-song voice, grinning and clearly not sorry at all.

“That’s it, time for some air big feller.” Stiles signed grabbing the older man’s hand and dragging him out of the house.

Once outside Stiles found himself in Derek’s arms again, body held close, foreheads touching. “I’m so happy you came, I’m going to miss you so fucking much.” The Alpha smiled gently at the boy before suddenly stepping away and running out into the back yard. Stiles sighed and chased after him, laughing at the sight of the mighty Hail spinning on the spot, arms stretched out and face tipped up towards the sky.

“Derek, you better stop that, you’re going to make yourself sick.” Stiles said with a laugh, reaching out to stable him when the spinning stopped, but of course the werewolf was too heavy and off balance to catch and the two tumbled laughing onto the grass.

“The stars are so beautiful.” Derek sighed looking up at the night sky. “Sometimes I feel the eyes of my family looking down at me.” Stiles didn’t know what to say to that so he simply took the man’s hand and squeezed it lightly. Derek turned to look at him and smiled. “They’re not as beautiful as you.”

Stiles was floored for a moment before he realised that Derek really didn’t know what he was saying. “Well you are very handsome too, maybe we should go back inside now.” Instead of getting up Derek just pulled Stiles closer and whispered into his ear. “Can I tell you a secret.” 

“Why don’t you tell me tomorrow.”

“No, now.” Stiles knew he really shouldn’t encourage this, but hell, he had fantasized of spending a lazy Sunday morning lying beside Derek and just chatting. “I’m in love with Stiles, but you can’t tell him.” Then he giggled, actually giggled, Stiles heart clenched in his chest. Fuck, how is he going to live after hearing those words, words he could only ever dream of hearing, to hear them now, not knowing it was just the drug, or was it real?

“Maybe I should take you home.” Stiles suggested, managing to break free of the Alpha’s grip and get to his feet. 

“Oh so you think you can just take me home Stiles, you naughty boy.” Derek gasped, smiling and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Getting Derek up and into his car wasn’t easy but getting a sleepy boneless full grown Alpha out of the car was near impossible. “Come on Derek, work with me will you.” Stiles grumbled as he tried again to shift the lump, but Stiles is a trouper and he eventually managed to get the man into his apartment. Taking pity on the guy, Stiles removes Derek’s boots and jeans before wishing him a good night and getting the hell out of there. Apparently Derek had other plans; apparently Derek was good at playing possum.  
“I know what we need.” The wolf declared suddenly sitting up and practically bouncing on the bed.

“Apparently it’s not sleep.” Stiles mumbled to himself. “What?” 

“Ice cream.” Giving Stiles a somewhat lustful grin he continued. “I want to cover your whole body with Ice cream and eat you up like a popsicle.” 

Honestly Stiles couldn’t have said if he was even still breathing or not at that point, such was the intensity of the hard on he was now sporting. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but he just didn’t have the words. Derek in the meantime had sprung from the bed in an apparent hunt for said ice cream.

The look of utter devastation when he returned to the bedroom (where Stiles was still gapping like a gold fish) was enough to kick start Stiles brain again. “What’s wrong Derek.”

“I don’t have any ice cream.” He moaned like a five year old. “I’m sorry, I’m such a bad shopper.”

“Hey buddy don’t worry, it’s a little late for ice cream anyway. Look, maybe I should get going, you need your sleep big guy, you’ve got a full day of feeling shitty ahead of you.” 

Instead of answering Derek simply pushed Stiles back onto the bed and started removing his jeans, growling when they became tangled around his feet. “Derek, please, I need those.” He protested trying to tug the denim back up. “Look, you go to your bed and I’ll go home to mine.”

“I don’t want you to go Stiles, please stay with me.” Stiles heart skipped a beat, well melted really. Sighing, Stiles agreed to stay, and apparently happy again, Derek happily began discarding his shirt and jeans. He made it all the way down to his bare arse before Stiles got over the shock enough to at least try and look away.

“OK, well, I’ll just send dad a quick text to let him know I’m staying over at a friend’s place.” Stiles said making a quick exit before he did anything embarrassing like cum or faint or cum then faint at the sight of one gorgeous, naked man standing in front of him.

The teen returned with two bottles of water in hand, relieved to see Derek under the covers and hopefully asleep. Quickly shedding shoes and jeans he slipped under the covers alongside his Alpha, his thinking that perhaps he could just slip away once he knew the other was really asleep was quickly squashed when Derek pulled the teen back in his arms, kissing him sweetly on the cheek and manhandling him so he was tucked into the little spoon position before slipping off to sleep.

“Good night Stiles, I love you.” 

“Nite Derek,” Stiles responded, then under his breath he added. “I love you too.

Stiles doubted he would be able to lay still for long, however a few moments nestled in the water bottle heat of the Alpha’s embrace and slow rhythm of his breathing the teen was asleep. 

Waking up in an Alpha werewolf’s bed was just as terrifying as Stiles thought it would be, and as expected fear completely severed Stiles brain to mouth filter. “Totally not my fault dude, and man as much as I wanted it to be different, the entire night was totally G rated, I promise you, and just remember it’s your own fault that you accidently spend the night with me, and you can see that I’m almost fully dressed…” Shifting the sheet back to prove it, Stiles glanced down and quickly tugged it back. “Eeeek I’m naked, not cool man, I totally remember coming to bed with clothes, I don’t know….” 

“You know you talk way too much for this time of the morning.” Derek commented, looking a picture of blissful calm, his arms folded under this head, all broad shoulders, impressive pecks and flat stomach exposed to the teens roving eyes. “Like what you see Stiles?”

“Well yeah, but I can’t help that, I mean look at you.” Stiles answered wearily, laying back with his arm over his eyes whishing fevorly for the ground to open up and end this torcher. With his eyes closed and his ears filled with the sound of his own paniced heart beat the teen failed to notice Derek moving until he found himself pinned under the hot werewolf flesh, his bulk supported on forearms planted firmly on either side of Stiles chest. It wasn’t until he felt the soft but firm lips on his own that Stiles realised that maybe he wasn’t going to die this morning after all.

“Thank you for looking after me last night.” Derek murmered before leaning in and kissing him again.

“Derek, are you still drunk?”

“No, I’m fine now.” Derek gave Stiles a shy smile. “I remember everything you know.”

“Everything?”

“Yep, so really thank you for not leaving me there,” Kiss. “And.” Kiss. “Thank you.” Kiss. “For not going out and getting ice cream.” Derek smiled as he pulled back, pleased to see Stiles chasing his lips. 

“Yeah, no problem, you wouldn’t want to wake up to find out you did …. That.”

“Oh no, I fully intend on licking you all over like a popsicle, but I’m lactose intolerant, so you know, no ice cream.”

“So maybe honey would work.” Stiles deadpanned.

“I’m a wolf Stiles not a bear.” Derek scoffed inching down to lick at the teen’s nipples.

“Well I’m not covering myself with bacon dude, you just gonna have to have me au naturel.” Stiles challenged. Derek continued to work downwards, his hot breath ghosting over the boy’s erect cock. Stiles shivered in response and tried desperately to thrust his hips up to get some contact. Derek held the boy down easily as he licked a wide wet strip from balls to tip before pulling away completely and smirking at the whimpering teen.

“Stiles?” Derek’s brow lifted pointedly.

“Oh my god, yes fine, wrap me in beef cakes, bathe me in blood, whatever you want, just for fucks sake don’t stoooopppp."

**Author's Note:**

> Someone on Tumblr suggested that a drunk Derek Hale would be just like a sober Tyler Hoechlin and I just thought that was a fantastic idea, so here you go.


End file.
